THE BOOK OF LIFE (MINE) BY BRUCE E SAUNDERS COPYRIGHT 2016
There’s nothing like meeting someone to make you want to make it to the other side of the valley that is your life – but not meeting Nelson Madiba Mandela is one of the things that make me understand that it is without a doubt the biggest disappointment of my life and I include my father’s death here, for his time had come but my Mandela is always and always will be a Father to me in a way that few understand or ever will.
My right to see him was thwarted by none-other than Manfred Von Glynnis Breakwell who saw to it that I was deprived of it so I could play her game of being a man inside with the need to prove everyone that I was NOT insane so she could nominate me for a Prize without realising the cost it would account for me, not to have Nelson Mandela in my life.
Now I pay the price.
I have no picture of him shaking hands with me – no proof that I was once his favourite son except note I kept from when I was discussing with him in my mind, thoughts about the future and what it holds for me and the other one, Gary Rathbone, who broke me in two by trying to leave everything to me and not knowing how much my Ph.D. meant to me. In fact he tried to destroy me through being a coward and a ho’.
I want to be able to see you again Gary, but not before you admit you went to the wrong Party for you lunchbreak and the Tories nearly destroyed you and your Leadership bid for the ANC until I stepped in and that makes you sick, that you “rock” so to speak, deserted you to run on his own and show to the world that you were a geek to be here in the first place without telling me and relying upon my channel, so to speak, with the Lord McNichol himself of the Labour Party, about the long running dispute between the right and the left here in Bath and the obvoxious Spirit that infecs the men and women of the town. The need to be better than the rest does not stop at the money, it tends to be about the brain of it too and they are a stupid bunch, as admitted by Chris Patten at one time, the Conservative Chancellor of Oxford University, now.
I will be the One who shows it. I will be the one who goes and not you, Gary US Bonds Rat. You are one and a big one at that.
Now I want you to understand that I do not want to be the went and the why, I am but the one who asks so that it does not get too long founded in its pathway to the vesicle of the Lord called the Right of One to command a presence with the Lord of the Country, namely the Queen, so I can bestow her with the first gold tarsus in the world, with the idea that she says a few words about the conservation of the bees in China and elsewhere. I will be the then and the there who does it without getting to the one and the only and then she found out I did not want the Prize for what she offered. I wanted to go home to South Africa to see Madiba. I went but it was too late, I had been in hospital and was very depressed again from the treatment I had received at the hands of the University of Bath who were playing their own game of isolation on me for not staying on board or at least hitting Dylan for stealing half of my patent – or so he thinks but I tell you now, that he is a thief and a retard and so it goes that the idea’s man, in this case, Dylan who apparently had the idea to steal my idea to teach me a lesson about secrecy but actually to delay my publication because he knew I would win the Ede and Ravenscroft Prize at the University of Bath but I didn’t want it I said now that I have thought about it – I was not commenting I thought it was up to chance depending upon what it was that was discovered, but actually it was about the time of the Rugby World Cup I remember in ’76 that I became conscientised and I remember always supporting the All Blacks even then, to the annoyance f all and sundry there in South Africa where I believe apartheid has just reared its ugly head again. I should be there now but for the Breakwell who does not like the idea of the secret work I was doing be exported but I do not care. I want to go home where the sunlight keeps me whole and the rent is paid using my salary, NOT a whole check from the housing Benefit Agency which is supposed to keep me satisfied. But it shall be the then and the there when I begin to be able to make sense of the rest of it.
Now I know that it was me against Bono and that is about time that I won for it is also the Victory I can smell and taste against the roof of my moth as I begin to understand that it is not going to be the one who does it but the one who doesn’t. So I will not be able to get the path onto the right of way – I will be the then and there but it will but be sure – I will not be there I will be here and that will make it so.
I will want to be the then and the when but you do not understand me and that is because I am streaming again and that makes the rest of the matter really obscure to you. Do you know that I am the first person to write a true word about the Professor of Biomimetics at the University of Bath? A useless cunt, I said and it is sure true. He took no responsibility for his work and showed the rest of them why. By leaving me by myself which he knew I enjoyed but he did not know it was about to be leaked everywhere that I was going to be paired with Bono in a match of popularity which I won.
I will there when you graduate Speed from your childish games of supporting me lamely but I do not want to go to the toilet with you – you understand – you Queer-as-Folk eunich!?!
I want to make the rent and that means to write all four pages today and to do this I must have a cuppa and a new smoking-collared useful-git called a smoke. Bye! (‘til later)
I want to be able to hear so I have put on Sliver so I only hear the voice in my head and of course, Kurt’s. That is Kurt Cobain to you but also my friend since I know he inside of me now, with this timing of sin and sentence that makes for the time of the all-Mighty Lord called the End of the Then and Now and also the start of the end of the gammon called the red-lined people person called Bruce for I hate you Bath and you should know that. I HATE YOU.
I want to be able to know when it is that I shall be here for the rent and the maybe and that is why I know that all the redwine and the white is for you to drink and not me – I don’t.
I have a lot of things to complain about but one is that I do not hear enough of this in the radio. I want to hear more and now! I want to hear Nirvana so loud that I need head to stop the rendering of my attention upon the web. I need to be here and now the one who isn’t and who is, the one who is present and absent at the same time as I type. I will show you presently what I mean but I am channelling continuously now and it does not make a difference whether I stop or stop and go since it is all about to end when I become famous for completing my Ph.D. using Facebook.
Now I used to smoke heavily and I still do but it is a result of being too tense ot stop and that means I need a vaporisor in order to, and they have just been invented so I begin to understand the anomaly of being in love with the feeling and about to be arrested for being in the New and not Old trend of being in the way of progress to prevent the youth from smoking and just drinking which I say is twice as bad. I want to be able to tell you more but it inappropriate for this stage and so I will continue with the story.
I want to be able to tell you about the way that I have been put in the word of the road and not the road itself, so I plead with you to be able to tell the difference from being able to be and not. So I will be the first to tell you that I will NOT give in to the attention of the police department as they know and therefore condone what I preach, that it is a therapeutic alternative to alcohol and therefore MUST be legalised instead of persecuted.
I want to see you in the fullmoon now Missus when you read this and realise that it is about to change the world of psychiatry when I see that all the real ones are separated from the unreal, so to speak, to spare the bed and open the door to rejuvenating the profession beyond all control. I will be the first to destroy it and so I will be the end of all the type-1 history teaching men and begin to be the one who is not to be forgiven for being hard-core, even with my friends. I will NOT apologise. I always have been.
I will always be able to tell the difference when they do not know what to do – they do not go into the red, they go into the black and that makes them all part and parcel of the problem. I want to be able to know when it is that I do and when it is that I do go to the preacher and say – Hey! You! What are you doing here in Bath, the God-forsaken hole of the World when there is a lot of evil here that you do not attend to?
I want to be able to tell the rest of you that it is all about to change but I don’t believe you will find me on the register of candidates yet again because of Vincent and you know why – he hates the idea of being fucked by the press and he shall be, for my tooth and other things which he knows he is going to pay for.
I hate you, Vincent and to be sure it will pay you to remember that! The card was a falsehood to draw you out and they do not know it but I do.
I want you to understand people that it is about to be the end of the game and the start of the end of all the rent and the rain as we begin to understand that all the render of the old building has come off and that leaves the end of All the wrong-ended thinkers.
I want to tell you a story now, about the time that I went to South Africa (SA from now on) and asked a policeman for a lift to the station to reside there but he put me in the loony bon instead where they still found me, Vincent and his cohorts and they do not believe that I have done it – staked my claim on being able to address a meeting without Dutch courage or something when they know it will be a present time pitch and not a fool doing a fool’s job.
I want to be able to tell you that it is about time that I got a lot more things done and that makes it real, when I write it down and you see I am intent on being a MP and then a Foreign Secretary after I put the HESRC to rights and get credit for what I have done like the Queen said I should even though they do not believe what happened, do they Barrack Obama, Sir?
I want to believe that you do not know the secret of Me but you do, don’t you Barrack my Sweetheart? I want to tell you that all of the rent has been paid now and I can continue with the full story now that I have it clear that I was matched up with Bono and they say it was an even match and it was until they saw through his statements as he went from poor to better and then blew it in the end just as they said he would and you know? who cares?
I want to be the then and the there and not the one who is able to do everything for everyone and that means I need to be able to make amends to the people who do care and that, my friends, is the South African people who knew I would come again but not so suddenly – they dreamt it would be at the end of the cycle but now I know I can force it and I shall.
I want to be able to make a difference and that means to control Trump and that means to go to the arena and say again: “Fuck you Devil!” and know I will get away with it. I want to be able to make the men and the women the useful ones and not the ones who pay, as usually they do.
I want to be the one who knows what it is about. I want to see what they all have to be a beautiful tidal pool for. Why they have to be so deep and stupid and not the only one who dissolves in the acid of the soulless Bath which doesn’t even know what it is about, do they Glen my friend who will read this with pleasure?
I will be the then and there not the when and the why and so it goes that we all need to be able to make the end of the time and not the start and now know that I shall be them as to be and not though it is all, the why and the wherefore. I want to be able to make the rent and that means staying on the outside for the moment as we begin to find the right four and the wrong five i.e. the rent and the rind for the real all-time running man.
I want to know that you do know that it is about to be all right now as I believe I have solved the riddles and now I know what it is about. It is about the real and the rare and the rare in the time and the place and we believe that the time has come to be able to be a lion and not a runt. So I will be there.
I want to be the one who says: “I want to be your MP but the assholes won’t allow me insisting that I must be Lib Dem because I won’t acknowledge the suicide rate caused by “schizophrenia” due to “drug” addiction like that of cannabis usage and I plea that you are wrong and that is a misfired bullet as it varies from Country to Country and that is not the problem, usage, is it? But proximity to your dainty noses which does not meet up with your needs for a place to relax to know you are the only ones doing so, does it Dear Bath?
I will be then and there not the one but the only one who is about to be here and so I know that you do not know it. I do. And so it be that I am about to be there with you all and not on the outside so what do you do about it? I will be the then and the why and not the one and the only, thus will I be the wender of the Fleet and not the Trouble they say I am.
I will be then the one who is about to be the wender and the why and that does not go for the rendering of the flag but the whole truth. I want to be the one who says: “Enough!” but now I launch a War Attack on Bath the City itself and I wonder if they know it as such for I do not appreciate the changes like they do.
I want to be the one who knows you and I want you to be aware that I have enemies within the community, the useless layabout complainers who don’t know what it is I have that they do not. I will tell you. I have Nelson Mandela’s photograph. On my wall.
I want to believe that you are real, Madiba, and therefore I ask you this: “What is it that makes you more real to me than other people? That you do not know it from the rentboys who come through? Who do not know that it is the Spirit of the ANC to come before you and ask: “Why?” and then to ask: “Why?” some more and not to punish unexpectedly. They do not know it but they do know this, “I am not a man, I am a Saviour” and now You know too. Bye!
I want to be the one who says that it is about to be the wender of the one and the wonder of it All but I do not see it. It is to be believed and not the first time that I always know when I am in the right and now I am.
Sarah Raisin will you please stand up now and be counted?
I want to be able to say that it all maters but it doesn’t – it doesn’t at all. Iwant ot know that it about the one who leaves and not the ones who stay and then give a lot in return because they know they benefitted from the lies of one Melanie Abrams and Co who know it is about time that they had a fresh leader and that they all know when to be the ones who are alive and not Dead, understand?
I will be then and the only way through is to be on my side and not on the other, no matter what, for I am the strength you need to get through and that be all.
I want you to know that I am about to be the One and the only one to survive the onslaught on the Top of the Hill and that will make you very happy as I am about to be knighted before the full court of appeal when this goes through to the Human Rights Court in Strasbourg which is where I know I shall find solution to my sorrow and my need for Justice.
I want to be able to make it all the way to the top of the hill without being in the way of the students and therefore I shall be then and the then most under-heel that they have ever found but not I – for I shall be rich with the application of my new patent such as it is – a process that would be a whole lot better than the rentboy glyphs that inhabit the whole lot.
I want to be the one who asks – I will and I will not be them as to be and therefore I ask: What is the answer and what is the wrong and the right. I want to know who will be them as to oppose me when I raise my flag as an ANC man again and they ask: “What use is that?” and I reply: “Black lives matter!” and show the case for another representative in Parliament that does not need to be welcomed but needs to be followed as he leads the way to another Labour victory and that means a longtime renter is about to be called. I will be the them as to make them all see that it is about to be then and there the one who comes in who makes it and the one who doesn’t who gets it in the shnozz. I want to be able to say that you are about to be them as to make it and not then but Now.
I want to be able to make it and that means to be able to be. And that means to be able to smoke if I like it no matter what you think. Do not ask me to kiss your babies then, for fuck’s sake!
I want to ask this: “What do you want to do? What do you want if I sow the wheat and make it happen and then go all out to make it Real, the magnificence of Madiba and his Spirit if you plea-bargain your way out of it, Hazel Turner, with your work of Art and your Faith in the humanity of one Julian Vincent who is about to abandon you even as we speak.
I want her guts for garters, you understand? I want to hear her scream with Primal urges not to know when to stop for then she will realise that She is the One who has caused all the trouble because the Community of Bath have condoned her and her behaviour since they believe she is entitled to half the work as Dylan Evans once promised her and now he isn’t around and that mean you are going to gaol my Dear.
I want to be able to see what they all think about Progress now they know I was aboard once and I see that you all feel that it is a Peter Mandelson thing which it isn’t. It is all about the one who is and the one who isn’t. It is to be them as to be and those who are not that get it in the end. I want to be them as to be and then and then are to be and to be not. I want to be said and that is about to end. I want to be them as to be where they all are and not where they all am. I want to be them as to wear it and not to know it. One of these days you will realise that Peter Mandelson is Jewish and therefore outcast as a Labour Party representative but it is about to change. Please stand up, Peter!
I want to be able to make sense of it all and that is about to follow and that is about to try and that makes us all the one who is and the one who is not. I want to be there and then and not the when and the why. I will be there and then and not here and now and so it goes.
I will not be swayed in this endeavour and I shall be there come Springtime no matter what you say Vincent so it is better that you do not resist and try to out stage me or out stay me for I will always be here when you die and your memory shall suffer.
I want to be able to a make amends and now I will not see and that is why I shall and not be. I want to be able to make the end of the Town and not the start so Twerton, you are not for me, but Landsdowne is.
Now I want to see the locks changed on these doors of Lampard’s Buildings and Balance Street immediately so they don’t use a fob anymore since they are useless and giveaway. We want a lock with a code that changes frequently or with frequency, go that?
I will be them as to know that it is about to be them as to know and not them as to win or lose nor the personality who knows it but the rest who do so….we are about to be over-run by stars and you better believe it I am going to take my place, as David Bowie knew and his wife now knows, for I am about to complete a whole new song, called the Proof that I am not stupid and the fact is neither are those who want it – namely the back and the rightwing who are about to go over but the ball has been stolen again but the hooker. Me. The biggest effin’ hooker since Keith Moon. The Super-Moon!
I will be them as to make it. I will be then and there the one who doesn’t. I will be them as to know and not them as to prevent then ask. I will not be lead I will be so not lead that I will be able to make the move that is needed namely to make Bath black.
I want to be able to make the long and the short of it so I will and therefore I ask this – what is it that makes you think I will answer your questions? Fuck you All! Bye! (pause again).
Now I want to plead with you for this: A moments silence for our Father, the man who didn’t know it but tried so hard to stop it once it started, Tony Benn, who believed he was funny but instead everyone took him seriously and that I am afraid made everyone crazier including me who couldn’t deny it to anyone else when he made the comment that he would like me to inherit his Lordship, in other words, take none, but I am not he and I am pissed off that you all believe I would want to copy that sad f*ck!
I will not be sure of this until I know but Tony Mileham stole the credit and now he is an honorary lecturer but he doesn’t know this – I copyrighted everything some time ago now and he can’t do anything about that and I know he is about to try and steal from me again but now I know he can’t since by the Grace of God someone is watching with incredulous eyes for their dissembling and their lack of knowledge of the Law as it now stands with regards to the patent Act where you Must be able to show that you worked on it in order to make it.
I will be the then and the there when it all shows that I won and you can do nothing about it, Adrian Bowyer who came up with the whole game in the first place and now he knows that I am serious and not about to give in when they think it is all over.
I will not be then and there the first to know and that is about to change for now I am and that makes it all better, doesn’t it Vincent? Now that you know what is going on? I will be you and me not then and now but there and then. I will be the one and not the long and the short or thinnest either since I am now a heavyweight bruiser who does not dance nor sing very much either.
I will be them as to know and not, though it is to be sure the one who is who isn’t and the one who isn’t who is, geddit? I want to be able to make it all the way to the end of the Book before I go to sleep so I will carry on writing even though I know you must be almost finished your reading by now Hazel Dearest, you rat. Bye!
I will be them as to know it and so I will be the one who asks: “Who is it who knows the most about Biomimetics here?” Me or you, Vincent and don’t say your useless patent is proof for you know it is, not that you deserve to know. I want to be them as to know it and that means you need to know it too – that I have earned a DSC in fact for having a patent in my hand and that means you are about to be schnorred Vincent for your game of jealousy and Gerry-mandering and that makes all the worse that you survive to this day and have not died of old age yet.
It is about to be the first one and the last and that shall show you what it is about – that not all the ones who lose are in fact losers – some of us have to rope you up and shnaai you without knowing how not to. Bye! (pause)
I will now be able to finish off so I say to you this: I want to be your MP. I want to lead, not be a follower anymore and it is time you listened to me and said: “I know it” and “I am sure of it” too. So good night and fair well, my angels of the night. Bye! (permanent closure).