What am I? I am the Devil. I am temptation.

Brigadier Piet Toon’s stage name is Robert di Nero. I shall put the date in here because this is an active book by which I mean that some of this forms part of an ongoing investigation, the whodunnit. 1/6/2010

Glynnis Breakwell’s real name is Kobus – Fia Kobus of the late Schutte clan of which Mark Kydd-Coutts M.D. (Ha!) and her friend Aaron Mute also of the Broederbond is in town (Bath) tonight looking for as he has an excuse not to recognise me. Ernst and Young is Henry Kobus and Ibis Young of the Quest variety now called the rem and sten as in gun.

Al Gore’s real name is Auf Tonne and his wife Tipper has splendid legs for a stripper.

Someday I’ll tell you we, that is the British, defeated Hitler, Eisenhower and Japan in World War Two.

Now my episode with Friends Reunited resulted in its closure and my acceptance into the C.I.A. unknown to me but the is not to say that I escaped without the attention of the Afrikaner hierachary and this brings into play Quest, a secret organisation little known in the West until now.

Around this time I bought some cheap wet-weather gear and went to the Bureau of Offshore Sailing and completed my Day-skippers ticket. I went on a race from Leamington-Spa to Portland Bill. That is the last time I sailed.

I have a single tattoo, from a time when it was risque and exotic in the early ‘90’s. I went to Saints in Maida Vale and had a seahorse on my back, small and on the shoulderblade. My distinguishing mark apart from my scars which I growing steadily in number.

As I say, as a full colonel in secret I went to the Bath University to do mechanical engineering. I did not know I was being sent to my death by Allison and Mark Crane, paid for my Magnus Malan in 1993 when I got my adjunct. Surprise it was when I learned of this fact.

I have developed a habit and that is to do what I will in the face of authority to see what it will do. Again and again I do what impulses me and I watch the fall-out.

I arrived £2000 in debt on my overdraft but managed to find a job at Starbucks, newly opened in town, which saw me good for money along with some work on the tracks which I continued into my degree. In my second year I got a £10 000 loan which together with working at Mo Kisciwisc’s Learning Support Unit on campus saw me through my degree except for a period at AmbaMedical (now a dildo factory) in Bristol. I finished a four year Masters with a 2(1) and was offered something I always had thought would be out of reach. I looked at my marks – 62% and I knew something was up but I did not know what. I did not dispute it but I knew that they had been massaged. I was soft and blind.

Bath in those days was a quaint smoke blackened town of 200 000, called a city by virtue of its Abbey and world renowned for its Roman Baths. In fact it is a world heritage site now. I lived on campus in the first six months and met a Bath girl named Madeleine Innerd. She moved out of her boyfriends place and we moved into a flat next to the railway lines on the Wells Road for four months then we split up, staying friends. We each found separate accommodation at 11 Catherine Place Bath, in bedsits on separate floor, me in 13 on the third floor and she in 11 on the second. The landlord, Bob Sparkes was a decrepit old prick who insisted on coming into our rooms when we were not there to collect the rent with his set of keys. His son, Martin, is still there in his rooms on the groundfloor and Saffron Rabey lived in the basement. He is an osteopath.

I did not hang out with other students, remaining aloof of them socially and going to the Bell pub most nights I was free, on Milsom Street thereby limiting my excursions into the greater Bath. I did not like Bathonians and thought them all too close to the farm for comfort. They have no sense of urgency but instead want to languish over a Sunday roast and tennis.

I grew to know few on campus but I joined the radio for a brief spell and the samba band. Coffee breaks smoking in the campus pub were accompanied by Chris Kirk and Fernando and Sean and Elaine Odges amongst a few.

Geopolitically Bath is laid out on the meander of the river Avon, clinging to the slopes of the surrounding seven hills and spilling over in some places to he plains above. The call it a university town now and there are four campuses, the University of Bath on its hill overlooking the city, Bath Spa out of town to the west by a couple of miles, Sion Hill on the hillside to the north and Bath City College in the downtown area.

Datemark 2/6/2010 – a few days ago I blew the fuse on the Bath SU for recording me in my flat and I went to the van Morrison gig in Bath today and found it cancelled unannounced with no sign of any movement.

I have learned to hate paperwork fairies like Prince Harry. I you think I think he didn’t understand what was happening as did Robert di Nero to use his stagename, then let me tell you another thing.


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