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Trauma

There is no time like the present

No time to call me the better man

I love you all but still you sin

You smoke like Dirk but hold your fin

Like an animal

You do not win

In absence of glory you do not tell

The winner is evil the sky the begin

Of pleasure inperilled

The arc of bin laden

Does not finish here

But there where you win

The aimless start of war can be

The anywhere else for you do not begin

The end does start to make it sin

You do not know where I cannot simply

Open your eyes to the title track

Of the lp

I love to play

10 to 1

Is not the time

It opens doors

Where love begins

I di not know where you

Cannot sin

Begin the where

When no one sins

Where your difference on the brow

And hold your crooked man

On the sow

Soo-ee, soo-ee

I love you more

Than pigs do in your final hour

Do not know me when

You power

I know you not

And love you nire.

Pyre is work I do not pleasance

Take the bow

The corner presence

Is open now

I cannot hold

You again.

Bcdfn.

Copyright Bruce E Saunders 2020

And they call them antipsychotics

Olanzipine makes you obese

Aripirazole makes you lactate

Clozapine makes you faint

But I’m not worried about the seniority of the doctors in charge

Who are too young to understand the sensitivity of the psyche

And its warrants to allow those with undue pressures to perform

To allow them to feel secure in the findings of medicine

They don’t understand the use of prescription medicine to help their cause

To understand feelings misjudging them as faithless beings

Inscribed with the factual and not informative.

I feel they are killing us successfully as they use their means to open doors they should leave shut and to close them is impossible once they begin their terror.

Picu is psychiatric intensive care which they do not do. They don’t care and leave you caged with your medicine until you adapt to their way of thinking.

It is sure to be the end of all thinking when they absolve themselves of all jurice prudence and allow the writing to say it all.

These are the days when I feel the most

The time is right for a most

Timeous intervention on me

Anyone called Mari would

Understand I am in an

Unhappiness buzz right now

So don’t tell me to sort it out

Mail me a note that I might explain

How the loss of my mother still

Affects me since she drowned in the sea

And I won’t swim anymore.

The whole colour of life has changed

And no structure has introduced the noose

To the onstage performance.

These shadowless days – I run away

But I can’t escape.

Copyright B E Saunders

To continue:

Two weeks after I graduated from Bath with a 2(1) and just as I was starting my PhD I was severely assaulted while walking home from the pub in an uprovoked assault by seven men.

The result:  a broken nose, lacerations to the scalp and a bruising to my hip that resembled the impact from a car.

It was not an accident, a chance occurrence.  I was recognised by someone I did not know as I walked out the door and five minutes later I was assaulted – a mobile phone call away.

I staggered home and then called the ambulance.  Later I gave a statement at the A&E and was sent home.

I had few friends in Bath at the time and it stays that way – more to the point I called my ex girlfriend and asked her to come round to my bedsit and while she was there I cried from shock, letting it all go.  I felt I had come very close to death and I was stiff and sore as all the bruises started stiffening up.  My right eye was black.

“Are you a legend?” had been the question in the doorway.

Someone had been watching me for four years.