I have to consider very carefully exactly what I want to tell you all. Mine is an unfortunate story. It is 14 years in the unfolding, which is too long.
Have you been confronted with the word “insight” yet? I live in the UK, Bath to be exact, and the term in its psychiatric connotation was used to me before I understood what it meant, and used against me. In a slanderous medical record that has since been refuted i.e. the lies have been confirmed as just those, so I have a form of apology in the works.
In the meantime, I have been forcibly medicated for ten years. I gained weight and had a diabetes scare. Now I am physically a very healthy chap (or I was) and I have watched my health mysteriously deteriorate with the weight gain associated with anti-psychotics.
Recently I completed my Ph.D. and I am attempting to negotiate my return to campus to graduate. It has been nothing short of miraculous with a chain of events unfolding that led to my thesis being confirmed and a series of three papers that includes a run of 900 downloads from the publisher’s website in 6 months.
But the University of Bath has been most unsupportive of me, my work and my efforts, and I include a Vice-Chancellor who earns in excess of £2.5 million per annum.
My field: Biomimetics, which will give you something to look up. What isn’t funny is the fact the my Ph.D. topic was entitled “The Mechanical Properties of Biological Hooks in Nature” and the psych who first condemned me to this treatment compared me to the Georgia Tech Shooter, of Sandy Hooke.
I don’t see the joke.
I was not paranoid schizophrenic. But since I have been medicated I have gone on trips that occur every six to eight weeks where I engage with hallucinations, Voice-hearing, and they take me to some strange places where I have commanded the rudders of a Polaris submarine, been an incredible mathematician, defused 68 atomic devices….I am not exaggerating. Tripping is the best way to explain it.
I have to come off the anti-psychotics now and see what the result is. If the effects prove to wear off, what am I to do?
I cannot get legal aid. Mental Health lawyers don’t handle this form of case. There is just me.
And the conundrum I have been confronted with right from the start? There are no mental wheelchair ramps at the gates to the complaints procedures. You have to handle them all yourself, even if you do have an advocate. Therefore you have to be an able-bodied specimen. And by law you have already been defined as not being so. Nice.
In spite of completing my Ph.D., I have been unemployed for ten years. I have been put into Mental Institutions in the U.K. and in South Africa where I was in the notoriously worst state institution in the country. That was fun too. I read two chapters of Tata’s book to my fellow patients on the hot still afternoons on the crowded ward, all of us dressed in fluorescent orange pajama’s and rubber plimsols.
The six other times, were in hospitals here in the UK and I have done a tour from Harrogate and Bradford in the North to Stevenage in the East and Bath in the West and the Salisbury Intensive Care Unit in the South in Salisbury.
Well….that is only half the story, isn’t it? For surely I must have done something to deserve these deprivations of freedom without charge, much less a trial. Hmmm.
What shall I tell you? Biomimetics is/was blue-sky funded research which means money to play with and see. As a result there could have been a lot of jealousy even though nobody new what blue sky funded projects were about. I did and I knew they were tough but I succeeded as is indicated by my papers and this led to a comeuppance for the right wing premise that it is all about footwork and not about a sway to the hips. For I opened the door and let in the kant that it is possible to do a Ph.D. at a five star University and still get it even though you de-registered some ten years prior to that event, by making the staff at the institution arise at the conclusion themselves by showing them the product which is what I did. It was important to me and I did it by carrying a memory stick around with me for eight years, and that was only because I was the subject f sabotage that could only be sourced at the police themselves…except they haven’t complained about the accusation that their Chief of Police was involved, or the Chief Constable as they term him here. This could mean two things – they are watching me or….they know and do not know what to do or….they do not know anything at all although I have told campus security, of the interference in what may be vital work. Read, and you shall find the reason why I say this. A seemingly inconsequential thesis title reveals the New Science of being able to measure the size of minute structures and sub-structures and copy them precisely using a scanning electron microscope and electro-deposition. Convinced?
I was assaulted first in July 2002 when I insist I was almost killed. I was kicked so hard in the head and back that I limped for three years, suffered a broken nose and glass lacerations to my head and had them identify me as the American ambushed going home from the pro-PLO rave-up at the pub on the London Road, about fifteen minutes from where I lived at the time, here in Bath.
I subsequently had my post rifled, my South African passport stolen from my bedsit, three credit cards stolen, my car first vandalised and then burnt out the next night in the street….the list goes on.
And through it all, I continue and the psychiatrist did not take into account any trauma associated with those, PTSD or otherwise. I was fine when this started, just heartily pissed-off, and I still am.